News

Bess Friedheim - There's Virtue in Hardwork


The latest version of Adobe Flash Player is required to properly view this video. To download the latest version of Adobe Flash Player please follow the link provided.

A Lesson in Perseverance

Eighty-two-year-old college graduate realizes her dream

Reactions to Friedheim’s academic achievement are similar – amazement at the initial thought of an octogenarian tackling the rigors of post-secondary studies, followed by awe at the sudden realization of the determination it took for Friedheim to reach her goal after 20 years. Wouldn’t it have been easier to travel, meet friends for weekly lunches, or garden? Some people might not understand why Friedheim would put herself through all the essays and the exams when she could have been "enjoying" life, but to Friedheim, she is enjoying life.

"I wanted to go to college my whole life…ever since I was sixteen," she said. "But my parents didn’t have the money to send me."

The second of four daughters born to Nathan Gutzait, a barber, and his wife Rose, Friedheim grew up in New York’s Lower East Side against the backdrop of the Great Depression.Her family lived in a modest, four-room apartment and shared a bathroom with another tenant. If a phone, a radio, and a family car were luxuries beyond most families’ means at the time, a college education was certainly out of the question. But that did not stop Friedheim’s mother from emphasizing the importance of learning. Rose Gutzait escorted her daughters to the library every Friday, and Friedheim and her sisters brought home enough books to keep themselves occupied until their next visit.

"My mother taught me that everything you learn helps you in one way or another," she said."We read all the time. Every Friday I had a stack of books to go through." In high school, Friedheim took both business and college preparation classes, just in case, but new responsibilities would mean deferring her dream a while longer.

Married to Philip Friedheim at 20, Bess Friedheim soon had two young sons, Steve and Jay, of her own to raise.The family relocated to the Midwest where her husband’s job as a sales representative for a jewelry supply company was based, and Friedheim settled into her roles as wife and mother. In addition to caring for her sons, as well as daughter Wendy who arrived some twelve years after Jay, she quenched her thirst for learning by taking classes in sewing, watercolor painting, and cooking.

When her oldest son went away to school, Friedheim thought she, too, might be able to finally experience college. She tried to enroll in Northwestern University’s dental hygiene program but was denied admission because of her age.

"I was in my forties and was told that I was too old to start the program," she added.

At her husband’s encouragement, she began to study diamonds and, when her youngest child was in junior high school, she opened Bess Friedheim Jewelry, Inc.

"My husband and I always thought it would be nice to have a small store," she said. "I like jewelry, but I discovered that I liked people more." Friedheim’s knack for customer service helped her turn the new store into a thriving business. She owned and operated the store, now located in Orland Park, for 25 years before turning the business over to her daughter.

Wife, mother, and successful business owner, Friedheim, then in her 60s, knew that if she were ever going to realize her dream of going to college, it would have to be now or never.

"Throughout my life, I had never really been away from learning that much," she commented, "so I felt ready for school." She had been taking accounting and business classes at Prairie State College on a part-time basis when Philip Friedheim died. Suddenly, Friedheim felt her enthusiasm for school wane.

"I needed to take two years off to mourn the loss of my husband," she explained.

When Friedheim was ready to resume her studies, she chose Saint Xavier University. She could have attended classes at SXU’s Orland Park campus, which is near the jewelry store, but Friedheim opted to commute to the campus in Chicago. For the last several years, despite some health problems that have necessitated using a walker, she has done just that: commute to campus one or two days a week while continuing to work at the jewelry store three days a week.

"When I go to school, I think I’m one of the kids," Friedheim acknowledged. "It’s wonderful!"

As a liberal arts major, Friedheim has had exposure to a variety of subjects, but it was a digital imagery class with Monte Gerlach, chair of the Art & Design Department, that ignited a new passion for her.

"Bess is dedicated, goal-oriented, and hard-working," Gerlach said. "Once she discovered photography, she wanted to know everything there was to know about it." Friedheim has taken every class that Gerlach teaches at Saint Xavier; some of them she has taken twice. Gerlach said that when she was using film, Friedheim processed her own photos, and she has since embraced digital photography as well.

"Photography teaches you to look at things a little differently, to notice things you wouldn’t normally pay attention to," she said. Gerlach appreciates the example Friedheim sets for others in his classroom.

"Bess has her physical limitations, but her mind is absolutely brilliant," he added. "Like all of us, she’ll get frustrated when a project doesn’t work out, but unlike some, she doesn’t give up. Bess is a very positive role model, and her classmates respect her."

When her oldest son passed away two years ago, Friedheim thought she might need to stop her studies again. But she credits her daughter Wendy for reminding her that her son would have wanted her to continue and reach her goal.

Graduating with a bachelor’s degree at 82 has turned the spunky grandmother of six into a local celebrity. She has been featured in the Chicago Tribune, in her local newspapers, and on the radio. Friedheim, who has considered enrolling in a culinary arts program next, was happy to oblige reporters, but she is not sure what all the fuss is about.

"When you work hard for something you desperately want, you don’t need a pat on the back," she stated simply. On the contrary, Friedheim’s inspiring perseverance calls for a standing ovation.

Office of University Relations

University Relations Building
Phone: (773) 298-3323
Fax: (773) 298-3794

University Magazine Accolades Get your gear at the SXU bookstore